Tuning Into Kids
Tuning Into Kids focuses on parent-child connection.
What is the secret to connecting with your child?
The premise of the Tuning Into Kids Course is that all feelings and emotions are valid and important, despite our discomfort with some of those feelings like anger. Some behaviours, however, are not acceptable and therefore parents have to set boundaries to ensure that when children are expressing their feelings and emotions they do so in non-destructive ways, ways that can assist them in self-soothing.
There are parenting styles that lack empathy and guidance in terms of how parents respond to their children and the messaging behind some of the language used. The way we respond in general, verbally and non-verbally including ignoring our children sometimes can lead to things escalating even further. Over time these styles have a detrimental effect on your child, which might include lack of confidence, mental health issues and lack of awareness. This might in turn affect how your child performs at school and in social settings.
Emotion coaching teaches us as parents and carers to connect with the child first and get a better understanding of their circumstances before we teach or set boundaries, that is to “connect then teach”. When you do this often you will have greater outcomes with your children’s behaviour and well-being. Mutual respect, greater connection and understanding are fostered between the parent and the child.
It is important for parents, to regulate their own emotions and to stop relying on “auto”-parenting. Learn to take more pauses and think about how you are going to respond before you do so, and that split-second decision can lead to different outcomes. This is how you model behaviour to your child and simultaneously embark on a journey in being self-aware and emotionally intelligent while also teaching your child the same skills.
Self-care is also a major facet without which parents seem to fall back into old, unhelpful patterns. Self-care should therefore be a priority to improve or maintain your wellbeing, and this has a flow-on effect on the way that you parent.
Our upbringing has a lot to do with how we respond to emotions and how we parent and therefore it is important to have an awareness and to reflect on some of the messages that we received as children. Think about how this impacts your parenting today either positively or negatively. Think of ways that you can break the negative generational cycles. You might want to consider challenging some of your notions of how you should be as a parent and your expectations of how your child should be. Understanding child development is one of the useful ways to put things into perspective. Sometimes the expectations that we have of our children are too high and we should take a step back and find out where they are developmentally.
When dealing with your child’s emotions and behaviours, view each moment as a moment to connect and teach. The bad, ugly, uncomfortable moments should be our “lemon to lemonade moments”. Think, “how can I connect?”, “what can I teach?”.
Join us for the six-weeks Tuning Into Kids Parenting Course at Family Intermediary where we talk about these and more parenting concepts. The Tuning Into Kids course is definitely a game-changer when it comes to parenting skills and all parents should get on board. The earlier you do the course the better as your children will learn these concepts from an earlier age and will be better placed for lots of learning and growth and so will you as a parent.